Wednesday, March 15, 2006

spring break -- party!

It’s spring break. Not much going on. They’re still on strike and you still wouldn’t know it.

Here are some gems from Professor Pessimist that I compiled over the past couple of weeks. I’ll let you guess which professor I’m talking about (here’s a hint: some people also call him or her Professor Paranoid):

*I’m perfectly willing to agree that all words are crap
*One reason to be a republic not a democracy is because people are stupid
*If I had to bet, I’d say the human race will not survive the next century…which doesn’t bother me.
*I don’t believe in the decency of the human race
*Bird flu is going to kill us all
*In New York city, instead of shaking hands, people will start touching elbows
*A lot of rich people in the 1930s did not survive
*All our health problems can be traced to High Fructose Corn Syrup
*In basketball, contact is allowed
*It’s better (safer) to wash my lettuce in my toilet than in the sink
*Salad bars are bad
*They never clean ice machines
*I have no idea what the world is going to be like when you’re practicing law in five years…there may not be a lot of law jobs…a lot of stuff is going to be outsourced
*We’re reading opinion after opinion that could’ve gone either way; what’s the point?
*My mother was high school valedictorian
*If I could figure out a way to do it I’d rather be in Canada or France right now…France is kind of iffy given the anti-Semitism
*For those of you planning to retire here [FL] remember that in 75 years there will be no here
*A nurse specialist from Minnesota called me to ask “What are my wellness concerns?” and I said to her “My concern is dying of neglect.”
*Balancing is a crock

3 Comments:

At 11:39 AM, Blogger LawFool said...

Sweet! This is a lot of good stuff. Not too sure about the bird flu stuff, but most of the other stuff is gold.

Keep on keeping track. I plan on stealing these pearls of wisdom and slapping together a book.

His ideas, your sweat, my profit!

 
At 11:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe if he weren't such a jackass then he wouldn't have to worry about dying of neglect.

 
At 11:13 AM, Blogger Unreasonable Man said...

I can't speak for all ice machines, but I've worked in a few restaraunts in my life and a movie theater, and all of them cleaned and disinfected the ice machines regularly (at least once a week).

 

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