Wednesday, June 28, 2006

random acts of randomness

A few random thoughts:

My friend the general counsel who I wrote about above reminded me of something I’d long since forgotten. Our college baseball coach was this disciplinarian who was more suited to be a drill sergeant than coach of a Division III baseball team. He was not the type of hard-nosed coach who rode you when he had to and motivated you to play hard because you didn't want to let him down. He was not the type of coach who you knew cared about you and could only express it by yelling and being tough. He was an asshole. He worked us to death during preseason practice and in the six weeks before my freshman season, people quit almost every day. His tactics didn't work -- we went 3-22 that year and lost 20 games in a row after starting the season 2-2. (We were actually leading the first game of the losing streak 10-0 after the top of the first inning, but we lost that game 22-20. It was all downhill from there...). But the funny thing about him -- and this is the thing I'd forgotten until my buddy reminded me -- was that he owned a small white poodle named Snowflake. It didn't really fit his image. Somehow, instead of making him seem more human, that made him more of an asshole.

The Boca Resort and Club now sells a hamburger for $124.50. At about 5-1/2 inches across and 2-1/2 inches thick, the mound of meat is comprised of beef from three continents -- American prime beef, Japanese Kobe and Argentine cattle. That sounds awesome, doesn’t it?. Coincidentally, I was at the Boca Resort the other day for the Florida bar convention because my boss was on a panel. I did not order the burger.

Speaking of eating, why would anyone buy that McDonald's sandwich that supposedly turns you into a chicken? Who thought it was a good idea to advertise that if you eat this sandwich, it'll turn you into a chicken? Why would anyone want to turn into a chicken? It's beyond me.

Did you see that they sold out of all alligator hunting permits the first day they went on sale? I’ve always wanted to go alligator hunting. I’m not usually much of a daredevil but how cool would that be to kill an alligator? This is what I’d do with the gator. I’d definitely go with someone more experienced at gator hunting though…


At 12:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hunting is for those who have a small penis... maybe it's up your alley

At 6:48 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Gotta admit, never took you for a baseball player

At 8:22 AM, Blogger some guy said...

Well, Ii wasn't a very good one and wasn't on a very good team!

At 1:37 AM, Blogger Tortious Inference said...

I've got a small penis and I love hunting...


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