not much, but a lot

I have little to say. The excitement and anxiety of starting work in five days has been tempered by a family member's imminent death. I wish I could come up with something poignant about his death, which as of now is hours away, but I'm not in the mood. (Given a choice, what would you choose - a long, slow death or sudden death with no warning? It's an impossible choice). Nothing is good about this situation, but it's definitely allowed me less time to think about the start of the job. It seems selfish and insensitive to even think about my own problems at a time like this, but he's been on the decline for four months, so for some, the end will come as a relief; in any case the end is also a new beginning. Or something like that. So, we wait.