random acts of randomness

A few random thoughts:

My friend the general counsel who I wrote about above reminded me of something I’d long since forgotten. Our college baseball coach was this disciplinarian who was more suited to be a drill sergeant than coach of a Division III baseball team. He was not the type of hard-nosed coach who rode you when he had to and motivated you to play hard because you didn't want to let him down. He was not the type of coach who you knew cared about you and could only express it by yelling and being tough. He was an asshole. He worked us to death during preseason practice and in the six weeks before my freshman season, people quit almost every day. His tactics didn't work -- we went 3-22 that year and lost 20 games in a row after starting the season 2-2. (We were actually leading the first game of the losing streak 10-0 after the top of the first inning, but we lost that game 22-20. It was all downhill from there...). But the funny thing about him -- and this is the thing I'd forgotten until my buddy reminded me -- was that he owned a small white poodle named Snowflake. It didn't really fit his image. Somehow, instead of making him seem more human, that made him more of an asshole.

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The Boca Resort and Club now sells a hamburger for $124.50. At about 5-1/2 inches across and 2-1/2 inches thick, the mound of meat is comprised of beef from three continents -- American prime beef, Japanese Kobe and Argentine cattle. That sounds awesome, doesn’t it?. Coincidentally, I was at the Boca Resort the other day for the Florida bar convention because my boss was on a panel. I did not order the burger.

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Speaking of eating, why would anyone buy that McDonald's sandwich that supposedly turns you into a chicken? Who thought it was a good idea to advertise that if you eat this sandwich, it'll turn you into a chicken? Why would anyone want to turn into a chicken? It's beyond me.

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Did you see that they sold out of all alligator hunting permits the first day they went on sale? I’ve always wanted to go alligator hunting. I’m not usually much of a daredevil but how cool would that be to kill an alligator? This is what I’d do with the gator. I’d definitely go with someone more experienced at gator hunting though…

dumb luck

Dumb luck is everywhere. I recently found out that a guy I went to college with was just named general counsel for a professional sports team (he graduated three years ahead of me and went straight to law school, while I had another career before law school, so that’s why he’s so far ahead of me). So I called him and asked him how he got such a terrific job. His answer: dumb luck. I’m sure he was being slightly modest – he must be a terrific lawyer who did well on his interviews and had references who spoke highly of him. But he had no contacts in professional sports, so he had no inside track. He was just in the right place at the right time and one thing led to another and he got a dream job. Again, it’s not like he’s a stumbling, bumbling idiot. He’s probably a talented worker who worked extremely hard in the two jobs he had before getting this job. But he got the job through dumb luck. I don’t begrudge him the position at all. I’m happy for him. But it’s frustrating to see a prime example of a situation which you have absolutely no control over.

I realize it’s easy to say that to some extent, everything’s a product of dumb luck. If my dad hadn’t been assigned to the booth at the amusement park that he was assigned to where my mom was working in the next booth, I wouldn’t have been born. If I hadn’t accepted a job that put me in contact with a guy who helped me get my next job (after I bombed the interview), I wouldn’t have met my wife. But that’s not the type of dumb luck I’m talking about. I’m talking about the kind of luck where you expect to have control over your life, or think you should be able to control things. But you can’t. It’s all about luck.

I guess the best way to rationalize this is to say we make our own luck. As I said, he’s probably a great lawyer and a good guy who gives off a great impression in interviews. So in that sense, he made his own luck. But did he? He was working in-house for a company. He spent a few weeks working with another lawyer (mostly on the phone) and at the end of the matter, that lawyer said something like ‘hey, would you ever consider moving out to this part of the country because one of my clients is looking for a general counsel?’ My friend’s reaction: ‘no way…I’m from the Midwest and so is my wife and I have no desire to leave.’ Then the lawyer identifies the client and my friend says ‘I’m in.” Something about the way my friend acted or worked must have impressed this guy, which is why he recommended him to the sports team. That's probably not luck, is it?

But so much of it is totally random. I had some of that luck in my previous career, but it only got so far and it ran out when I needed it later on. Oh well. I have no final point to make.

dumb luck

Dumb luck is everywhere. I recently found out that a guy I went to college with was just named general counsel for a professional sports team (he graduated three years ahead of me and went straight to law school, while I had another career before law school, so that’s why he’s so far ahead of me). So I called him and asked him how he got such a terrific job. His answer: dumb luck. I’m sure he was being slightly modest – he must be a terrific lawyer who did well on his interviews and had references who spoke highly of him. But he had no contacts in professional sports, so he had no inside track. He was just in the right place at the right time and one thing led to another and he got a dream job. Again, it’s not like he’s a stumbling, bumbling idiot. He’s probably a talented worker who worked extremely hard in the two jobs he had before getting this job. But he got the job through dumb luck. I don’t begrudge him the position at all. I’m happy for him. But it’s frustrating to see a prime example of a situation which you have absolutely no control over.

I realize it’s easy to say that to some extent, everything’s a product of dumb luck. If my dad hadn’t been assigned to the booth at the amusement park that he was assigned to where my mom was working in the next booth, I wouldn’t have been born. If I hadn’t accepted a job that put me in contact with a guy who helped me get my next job (after I bombed the interview), I wouldn’t have met my wife. But that’s not the type of dumb luck I’m talking about. I’m talking about the kind of luck where you expect to have control over your life, or think you should be able to control things. But you can’t. It’s all about luck.

I guess the best way to rationalize this is to say we make our own luck. As I said, he’s probably a great lawyer and a good guy who gives off a great impression in interviews. So in that sense, he made his own luck. But did he? He was working in-house for a company. He spent a few weeks working with another lawyer (mostly on the phone) and at the end of the matter, that lawyer said something like ‘hey, would you ever consider moving out to this part of the country because one of my clients is looking for a general counsel?’ My friend’s reaction: ‘no way…I’m from the Midwest and so is my wife and I have no desire to leave.’ Then the lawyer identifies the client and my friend says ‘I’m in.” Something about the way my friend acted or worked must have impressed this guy, which is why he recommended him to the sports team. That's probably not luck, is it?

But so much of it is totally random. I had some of that luck in my previous career, but it only got so far and it ran out when I needed it later on. Oh well. I have no final point to make.

all lawyers are evil

If you're like me, sometimes when you tell people you're in law school, they launch into the tired old song about how our society is too litigious and lawyers are part of the problem and how they can't believe that a nice young man like me is going to be a lawyer because lawyers are evil. My reaction to this depends on the circumstances. At times I just smile and nod or say something like "sure, but not all lawyers are evil. Some lawyers do good things."

Other times, I engage these people in debate. I say that in my two years of law school and four legal internships/clerkships I've noticed that they're right that there definitely are some problems (Ok, lots of problems) with the way the legal system works in this country. But the problems I've identified are usually different than the problems that most of the general public has. Their primary complaints are simple ones: (1) people are too quick to sue, (2) people sue people for stupid things and (3) too many criminals get off for no other reason than that they have a good lawyer, which creates a sense of unfairness and injustice that results in a class system that's so pronounced it might as well be a caste system.

So let's take these complaints one by one and see whether the complainers are accurately characterizing the issue. First we'll focus on the fact that people are too quick to sue. That might be true, but I think it's over-exaggerated. Most people don't file lawsuits every day whenever they feel slighted. Most people try to work out their problems before filing a lawsuit, although I'll admit that not everyone works as hard as they should before deciding to sue.

But the main flaw in this argument -- or the flaw in blaming the legal system -- for this argument is this: the fact that people are too quick to sue has little to do with the legal system. Sure, the legal system makes it easy for anyone to have their day in court, but being too quick to sue is a cultural, psychological or human nature issue. Making the system more difficult to bring lawsuits would treat the symptoms, not the cause of the problem. I don't have a clue how to make people rely less on lawsuits or be less quick to sue, but my point is that it's not the legal system's fault. It's the people's fault. People need to be more focused on working things out. I'm not talking about a utopia where all conflict disappears; but if our society is too litigious, the fact that courts are easy to access is only one factor in why people are so quick to sue. Why are they so quick to sue? Don't ask me. Talk to a shrink.

The next complaint, that people sue for stupid things, is a ridiculous argument. For every inane lawsuit that somehow passed the smell test and wasn't dismissed as a waste of the court's time that you read about online, there are thousands of lawsuits which have merit. And the worthwhile lawsuits get no attention, which is as it should be. Spend a day at the courthouse and if you manage to stay awake you'll see nothing remotely frivolous about 98 percent of the cases that are heard day in and day out. Lawsuits are a part of life and to rely on the occasional wacky suit that makes all the headlines because it's so wack as evidence that people sue for stupid things is not a sound argument.

Finally, there's the knee-jerk reaction to criminal defense attorneys who many people see as scum whose sole job is to help criminals roam free. First of all, the Supreme Court has said that everyone has a right to an attorney (although that's what they teach you in high school, in law school you learn that it's only partially true; not everyone gets a lawyer.). But the important thing is to think about the system. If you're arrested for a crime, the government has an impressive set of resources it will use to put you away. Cops will come up with evidence and attorneys (prosecutors) will do their best to put you away. So do we want to live in a system where individuals are on their own and can't use whatever available resources to oppose the cops and prosecutors, who have all the time in the world to build a case against you? I think not.

And as for the argument that the wealthy get the better attorneys, so they're more likely to get off, well, I can't dispute that point. But we live in a capitalist system where money is the answer to most of life's problems (except how to be happy). Is it fair that the poor hard-working schlub who commits a crime will spend more time in prison than the millionaire who commits the same crime? No. But life's not fair. More importantly, that's not a problem unique to the legal system. That's capitalism. That's the market-based economy. People who have more money are better off than people who have less money. As with the lack of lawsuits, this complaint is entirely unrelated to the legal system.

So I agree that the legal system has problems. But those problems -- billable hours, a language that keeps ordinary people from understanding the system, a faulty education system that takes three years instead of two, etc. -- are a discussion for another blog post on another day. The legal system is only part of the problem of an overly litigious society.

who knew?

I just discovered, thanks to Superbee, that Ms. Civ Pro dean's fellow has a blog. It's funny. Check out her post about the bar exam. It's funny, but scary for 2Ls like me who will be in that boat only 11 months from now.

help wanted redux

If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you know I have had one or two complaints about the Career Placement Office here at this law school. I have two summer jobs so I’m not actively looking for a job, but I’m checking the new job posting database every couple of days because you never know when something worthwhile will come up.

One of the most annoying things I’ve noticed is the large number of jobs as career placement office counselors that keep popping up on the site. No disrespect intended to people who choose that profession or anyone who reads this and wants to be a career placement office advisor, but come on. In the last two weeks alone, there have been six postings for jobs in law school career centers. I guess it’s conceivable that one or two (out of 1,200) students here will pursue a job in a career center, but it’s just not very productive to post every job listing that is listed on some career center newsletter or web site that someone at the career center presumably subscribes to.

Still, that’s not the best thing posted on that site. On June 9 there was a posting where instead of “attorney” or “law clerk” it says “Office Space available 7/1/06.” The job description is, and this is a direct quote, “Office Space to share.” Um, what? Hey, if you just graduated and still don’t have a job, at least you can share an office with this attorney. You won’t work for or with her, but you’ll work in her office! I don’t know what you’ll do in your office all day. Read blogs?

blah blah blah

All my grades are in. Are yours? Now we wait for class rank...

So the union is here. The janitors are unionized. Bricklayer must be spinning in his grave. (I mean that in the figurative sense. He's still alive, as far as I know, but his blog seems to be dead). That whole walkout thing seems like a long time ago...

I went by the student lounge today and it's a giant slab of concrete. I guess they're building something else in there? Who knows? Maybe they'll turn it into another classroom so this school can let in a few more students. Lord knows we need the money...

I registered for the MPRE. I'm taking it in August. It'll be nice to get it out of the way, assuming I pass...

"a what"?

Did you see the job posting on the web site where the company is looking for an "attorney"? They use quote marks. What does that mean? They don't want an attorney; they want an "attorney." Strange.

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I've now had four law-related jobs since starting law school and the same frustrating thing always seems to happen. I guess it's an occupational hazard of being a law clerk or intern. You get asked to research something because the attorney working on the case has this notion that he should probably kinda sorta maybe be able to claim X or Y. But after doing the research, you conclude that the attorney is wrong. Then when you tell him there's nothing to back up his idea, he makes it seem like you've done a crummy job and it's your fault. Fortunately, I've found that the opposite is also true (although it happens much less often) -- when asked to research something and you come up with an incredible case directly on point, the attorney thinks you're a genius. Oh well. It comes with the territory, I guess...

I'm sorry but...

I've got nothing for you. The only things that happened even remotely noteworthy this week at the law school were that the air conditioning busted and the guys trying to fix it blew some server or something that powered the computers, so the network was down all week. And they painted the concrete blocks in the parking lot. Did they re-paint those fading one-way arrows? Sadly, no.

See, I told you nothing's happening. This blog is so boring the past couple of weeks that I'm tempted to start blogging about my job (probably a bad idea), politics (as if we need more political bloggers) or what I eat for lunch every day (fascinating, I know). Or not. Anyway, stay tuned, I guess, and check in occasionally...

Still nothing

Most of the grades are in. I've gotten all except my seminar grade, which is odd since there were five people in that class. Oh well. It's not bothering me because I'm pretty sure I know what that grade is already. I just want to see my GPA and learn my class rank. I have nothing else to report. Sorry. ...

Nothing is doing and you probably don't want to hear about my personal life because it's not that interesting. The only interesting thing, I guess, is that a friend of mine is coming into town from Boston and we're going to People's Barbecue, which I haven't been to in over a year. It's by far the best barbecue in Miami, but it's in a terrifying neighborhood -- especially after dark. I can't wait.

Park much?

Look, I understand that the law school parking lot was designed by a blind guy and is maintained by incompetent idiots who probably haven't seen how bad the lot looks in 20 years. So we can all understand the occasional visitor or newbie going the wrong way down one of the lanes. This happens a lot during the early part of the school year and since it's all new for all of us, it's understandable.

It also happens during the beginning of the summer when people from other law schools converge on this one to study for the bar exam. Ok, but it's been TWO WEEKS since you people have been coming here every day and you stil haven't figured out that when the arrows point one way, that means not to drive the opposite direction. Let's see if I can get this straight -- you graduated from law school, now you hope to pass the bar exam and be an attorney and you still can't figure out how to park in a parking lot? It's just not that complicated...